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Xenophobes think all French men dress this way.

The Bad Touch - The Bloodhound Gang

Jordan Prentice — Jimmy from In Bruges — is captured by the simian gang. What are they going to do with all of these actors in the next two minutes? Is this a comment on our obsession with zoos? Or is this just a rubbish nod to Planet Of The Apes? They appear to be gearing up for a dance routine inspired by the Golden Age of Hollywood.

One of those big numbers, with big smiles and even bigger dresses. A disappointing tribute to the genius of Busby Berkeley.

Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch 2015 (Simon Jay & Impulz Remix)

Jimmy from In Bruges sees his chance to escape and legs it down the street. We would as well.

The Bad Touch Lyrics - The Bloodhound Gang - Soundtrack Lyrics

Is the main rapper, Jimmy Pop… hot? Does he have the good kind of crazyeyes?


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Is he wearing a weird man ring? Suddenly, we find two gay boys wearing matching, stereotypical frenchboy outfits, feeding each other at an outdoor cafe: the next victims. Then, a little person dressed as a mime gets the treatment, net style, from a Bloodhound Gang monkey hiding in a tree. Oy vey. In broad daylight! On a city street! Everyone looks very shook, and not in a hot way.

They are fully panicking. But then, something else happens. The victims are released from captivity and, seemingly hypnotized when did that happen? They perform truly lackluster choreography together in a Parisian piazza. The mime, though, has had enough. He makes a break for it, frantically bolts from the scene of the dance, abandons his fellow dancers to a lifetime of sex-dance slavery, only to be hit by a car!

I too, was left with more questions than answers. The monkeys, to their discredit, fail miserably at their one task, which was, in case you missed it: to do it.

The Bad Touch lyrics - The Bloodhound Gang

They are fully panicking. But then, something else happens. The victims are released from captivity and, seemingly hypnotized when did that happen? They perform truly lackluster choreography together in a Parisian piazza. The mime, though, has had enough. He makes a break for it, frantically bolts from the scene of the dance, abandons his fellow dancers to a lifetime of sex-dance slavery, only to be hit by a car!

I too, was left with more questions than answers. The monkeys, to their discredit, fail miserably at their one task, which was, in case you missed it: to do it. They clearly see how doing it is done on the Discovery Channel. Then, they successfully round up and hypnotize 10 sex slaves. But all they do is force them into performing a monotonous, dead-eyed macarena.

So, what was the point?

What were they even after? Is the Bloodhound Gang providing a meta-commentary on sexuality? Are they further positing that in all sexual encounters, we are doomed to reduce others to, and simultaneously see ourselves reduced to mere tropes — a flight attendant, a chef — mired in material unspecificity even as our bodies perform what may be the closest approximation of intimacy available to us? Become a member.

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